Application for dating my son

2. If you text it, I may read it.

What can you do to prepare yourself and them? Give them some proper boundaries.

Ten rules for dating my son | Macromex

Make sure they know these 5 rules for dating my son. For those of you with daughters, check out 5 rules for dating my daughter. Not really, but I will try to figure out what kind of girl you are before you spend time with my son. I will ask you a lot of questions and make sure you know that I know how special my son is.

One more thing, he does not take his phone to bed with him. The style is to show as much as you can at the top, the middle and the bottom.

Your son ain't dating my daughter! -- STEVE HARVEY

Also, secret meetings and clandestine adventures will be discovered—I have my ways! Finally, I am a mom who prays. Make sure they know these 5 rules. When I meet a boy, the thing I always notice about him first is: What is the current going rate of a hotel room? Also, only sluts go to hotels evidently. What follows is a list of rules much like our previous example. Except even more fucked up. If you talk with foul words and dress like a tramp in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, I will treat you like one. You are only allowed to wear granny panties super glued to your hind quarters OK, we get it… no skanks.

Or anyone with any modern fashion sense whatsoever. If you date my son you date only him. He has a kind heart and I will not have you make my son cry; if he does, I will make you cry. You may only date ONE of my sons. Once again the threat of reciprocation. Sure, 1 one son is a jerk who goes through girlfriends like Kleenex, leaving very few available dates for 2. I suppose he might meet a nice girl through the musical theater he adores so much. You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son s to cook. He is a big eater.

Frozen dinners do not count. Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports or gaming over time with you. Join in and learn the game. Shopping is not a sport. I learned to like guzzling cheap chardonnay in the bathroom on Sunday afternoons and so can you. Do not date my son for his money because I am his bank. Do not expect expensive gifts, he has been taught to be a savvy shopper. His own financial independence? Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been.

But on issues relating to my son, I am the queen of his universe.

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If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth. If you do not I will ask him. Do not trifle with me. My son has been raised not to hit a lady, so act like one and I will not have to hit you for him.

Rules for Dating My Son

Do not be hurt when my son chooses spending time with me over spending time with you. He was raised that family comes first and until there is a ring on his finger, I am his family, not you. My son is not a toy. He does not have Hasbro, Mattel or any other toy company tattooed on his person. Hence, he is not an object for you to play with, manipulate, and discard at your leisure.


I suffered through 42 hours of labor to have him, and will unleash an unimaginable amount of anger such that the movie will look like an episode of the Little House on the Prairie should you cross me. Got that you worthless little Jezebel? Whew… that one was long!

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So what have we learned today. Well we have learned that Moms can be just as sexist as Dads when it comes to young women. But one glance at the comments below one of these applications will show a ready audience of parents for whom this is deadly serious business. There runs through many ordinary people an authoritarian streak to rival Stalin.

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And the most likely outlet for our fascist impulses will always be those close to us. Boys can have it tough enough in the teen dating world.

  1. dating a really insecure man.
  2. Internet Meme Demolition Derby: An Application To Date My Son(s).
  3. model meet dating site;
  4. Testosterone is a helluva drug, and puberty will flood their young bodies with Barry Bonds level doses of it for a couple of years, making every life decision fraught with out of control emotions. The girls will get there about a year earlier, sprouting new curves in front of our eyes… literally. Every guy remembers the year that many of the girls grew breasts, and thanks to growth spurts many of those breasts were at eye level!

    No one is suggesting that you send them out into the world unprotected. We suggest you teach your sons to treat women as individuals, each with their own strengths and weaknesses.

    If you raise them well, hopefully your sons and daughters will eventually find someone to love who compliments their own unique person-hood. Set them free and they might just be happy. We can speak here form personal experience. In the distance a bluegrass band strikes up and the pretty young girls look for handsome young boys to dance with. The bills and the wrapping paper and the half inch sheet of ice covering the road to work tomorrow are forgotten for a time… if only for a brief and brilliant moment.

    You will return to this place again, you say to yourself as you slowly wake, refreshed and ready to face the cold. Have you come across an Internet Meme about parenting that you think needs to be demolished?

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